A Risk Worth Taking
by Matilda
Summary: Hoshi takes a risk.


Title: A Risk Worth Taking   
Author: Matilda7   
Rating: PG-13   
Category: Romance   
Codes: A/S   
Summary: Hoshi takes a risk.   
Disclaimer: Characters not mine, Paramount owns them whether I like it or not.   
  
  
A Risk Worth Taking   
  
  
Hoshi took a deep breath, willing her courage to stick with her and not run and hide like she wanted to. The corridor in which she stood was empty and quiet, only the hum of the engines broke the silence. Her single goal at the moment was to reach the comm by the door in front of her, and if she could only make her hand work it would be easy. Every time she tried though, her fingers would barely touch the cool plastic of the button before nerves caused her to pull away again.   
  
She gave a low growl of frustration. It was ridiculous. She needed to do this. The near misses were starting to drive her crazy. It had gotten to the point where they were all she could think about; she was finding it hard to sleep, to concentrate, to get anything done.   
  
There was the moment on Alzara last week, the one at breakfast two days ago, and then last night while walking Porthos, that had been the final straw. It was time to do something.   
  
"Why me?" Hoshi asked the empty corridor. As expected there was no answer.   
  
She squished her hands against her face, supressing the urge to scream. _Come on, it's like ripping off a band aid, just get it over with.   
_  
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Hoshi reached up once more, and this time her fingers connected. A faint beep sounded, and she pulled her hand away quickly, surprised she had a actually done it. It seemed like a swarm of butterflies had taken over her insides. Her stomach contracted at the realization of what was about to happen.   
  
This is a very stupid idea. Stupid. She waited, fighting off the urge to run, but nothing happened. _Come on._   
  
She had just made up her mind that maybe this was a sign when the door slid open. _Too late now._   
  
The room beyond was so dark, Hoshi could barely see inside. She stepped closer, searching the darkness, and found Jon leaning wearily against a chair. His hair was in disarray and his eyes half closed; he had obviously been asleep.   
  
Hoshi felt her fear vanish. He had been asleep. While she relived, analyzed and deconstructed the events of the last few weeks from every angle, he had been asleep. While she tossed, turned, and paced, he had been asleep. She wanted to throttle him, but choose to smile in a sweetly disarming manner instead. This was war.   
  
Ignoring his confused expression, she stepped into the room without a word. He backed up slightly.   
  
"Hos-"   
  
She cut him off with a finger over his mouth. A hint of fear overtook the confusion in his green eyes.   
  
He backed up again, and she followed. Soon she had him pinned against the wall, his face inches from her own.   
  
"I'm sorry, Jon, but I'm tired of waiting," she said softly, as though this explained everything.   
  
Then with an apologetic smile, and before he could answer, she reached up and kissed him.   
  
He tensed against her, his hands moving to her side as though to push her away. Hoshi wondered if maybe she had gone too far.   
  
The thought barely crossed her mind though, when Jon seemed to change his mind. He pulled her closer. Suddenly his hands were in her hair, drawing a line of heat down her back, running along the edge of her jaw. She kissed him harder, feeling dizzy at the sensation of finally being so close to him.   
  
After a minute they pulled away, both breathing hard, their face still inches apart. Hoshi leaned against him, and savored the feel of his arms around her, his breath warm against her cheek.   
  
"I just didn't want to move too fast, Hoshi. This is too important."   
  
So close to him she could feel and hear these words and the gravity of his tone startled her. She glanced up, and found Jon looking at her with eyes that were warm and soft, more than a hint of desire in their depths.   
  
"There are a lot of obstacles in our way."   
  
She reached a hand up to touch his cheek, trying to convey with her eyes just how important this was to her too. "I know but I wanted you to know it was okay. I'm ready for more, and I'm willing to accept the risks."   
  
He smiled, raising an eyebrow. "More, huh?"   
  
Hoshi laughed softly, resting her head on his chest. His heart beat in a steady rhythm beneath her ear, lulling her into a relaxed state. She felt safe and happy, and suddenly exhausted. She couldn't imagine how she would make it back to her quarters.   
  
She mumbled something to this effect, but she was so sleepy it came out in an incomprehensible jumble.   
  
Without a word, Jon lifted her, carrying her to the bed. She felt like she should offer some sort of protest, but she was too tired to care, and as she felt Jon lie down beside her, it suddenly didn't seem to matter. There was every chance that this might not work, that this was a door she would someday regret opening, but her last thought as she drifted off to sleep, was that some risks were worth taking.   
  
  
  
*****  



End file.
